CMC so far (and I guess I’m pretty far into it) has been one big roller coaster. I’ll give a little background to my own intentions coming into this semester so you can understand why I feel like it has been a successful experience. I never believed I could do music for a living, I just had extra space in my schedule and took this semester as a lot of elective credit. I started trying to write songs last year and loved it so much. Coming here, I knew I would not be the best and would be pushed a lot because of my lack of knowledge. And…yep… that happened. But it has been so good. My goals for this semester were to learn how to write well, leave with some new songs that I had written on my own, and conquer my fear of singing in front of people. I feel like I have definitely made progress in each of these arenas which makes this semester a success.
I have seen the Lord working through this experience in so many ways, but there is one that stands out to me. It was a week where I had just felt burnt out and like I was coming up with absolutely nothing I liked. It was very late in the night and I had to turn in a song in 2 days. I had spent all week trying to come up with something and was coming up so empty. I hadn’t cried once since I got here, but for some reason the stress started to really get to me and I began to break down. My friend came back into the room unexpectedly and caught me as the tears began to flow. She wasn’t supposed to see me, but it was so comforting just to have someone with me to encourage me. She told me just to go to sleep. So I did. The next day, I came up with my song. I found an old voice memo of an idea and I let it evolve into something. I actually liked what I had come up with, which was exciting. But then came the process of creating the demo. This is also an extremely daunting process for me. I am not skilled at creating instrumental tracks, so again I became overwhelmed. I sat for a few hours trying to figure out how to get what was happening in my head to translate out. I was getting really frustrated again, when in walked one of the best composers in the program. He offered to help me out and my stress melted as he was able to hear my vision and we worked something out. It ended up being one of my best songs and one of the most fun weeks. I know the Lord has provided for me each time I needed it. Even in the small things in life, like finishing a writing assignment, the Lord is paying attention and sovereign over all of it. I am so thankful for my experience at CMC, it has taught me a lot. I look forward to looking back at these couple months, hopefully seeing with more clarity how the Lord was preparing me for what He had in store.
– Cassidy Graham