Running Blind

My experience at the CMC has truly turned my world upside-down. I came here with a vague plan, aiming for an eventual pursuit of my music full-time. I was dreaming insane dreams of my music taking off and going incredible places. I wouldn’t say I wanted to be Taylor-Swift-famous or anything, but I wanted to shoot for it and get as far as I could. But I had no idea what exactly that meant or where my priorities would settle in that kind of chaos.

At CMC we learned about tour life and how you’d need to be far away from your loved ones for up to a year or more at a time. We learned more and more about the music industry and it flipped every idea I had about the future onto its head. By the time we had gotten a third of the way through the semester I officially had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

So, here I am constantly reminding myself to be in the moment, to do what I am here to do rather than worry about the future. I still have no idea where I’m going after this wonderful semester… no idea. I know that I need to go back for another year of school, but other than that I don’t know what’s going to happen. That means a lot of leaning on Christ and trusting that He’s got this. I am a blind woman running around and trusting that God is leading me. It’s simultaneously wonderful and terrifying. My future is completely unknown. I can’t follow my dreams because I’m not sure what my dreams are anymore, I have no idea what I want. But I suppose it’s not about what I want. So maybe I’m on the right track.

– Beka Lang

One Comment on “Running Blind”

  1. Dear Beka,

    I am so proud of you. You’ve given it your all, and I have an idea our Lord has you right where He wants you: A Blind Woman living out Blind Faith for His purpose and for His name, instead of your own. A scary place to be, but a place of grace and wonderful expectation. He’ll fill in His plan for you as you get there.

    Love always,

    Your very proud grandpa

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